What happens when a married Christian couple, fight over what church or ministry to attend?
First of all, fighting about where to gather and worship Jesus does not glorify God. All that we do should glorify God, not the flesh, selfish desires, controlling spirits, and discord. God's will should always be the focal point.
The best choice would be to pray together as a couple and compromise according to what the Lord reveals. If there is no compromise at first, then attending other churches or ministry services could keep the peace temporarily. It's not realistic to think that this could be a long-lasting solution because each individual would learn different doctrines and views that may eventually cause conflict. However, it could be the most peaceful solution until they've worked it out.
Questions to think about:
Is the desire to attend a different church leading you closer to God?
Could the children feel like their split between church homes, similar to when parents are separated? Is that healthy?
Where are you seeing growth spiritually that's visible?
Could your spouse be holding you back due to fear of losing you or if you outgrow them?
Does both of your callings matter, or just one?
Do both of you have the same values and morals?
I therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you that ye walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called, With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love; Endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body, and one Spirit, even as ye are called in one hope of your calling; One Lord, one faith, one baptism, One God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all.
Ephesians 4:1-6
The passage states to be in unity as one body, not one location. Ultimately, Christians are all members of the body of Christ and there are too many of us to fit in one central building.
Sacrifice
Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
1 Peter 3:7
According to the Word of God, the man has the role of leadership within a marital relationship. The leader should be the strong more sacrificial party out of the two. Therefore, the husband should make the sacrifice as long as the church the wife wants to attend is teaching sound doctrine. If the husband believes that the church is not teaching sound doctrine, it is his responsibility to biblically prove and teach the wife about the errors of the church. The only way he could do this is if he is living holy and knows the Word of God. If the church is teaching sound doctrine, there may be a different issue which is why there's conflict in the first place.
What about tithing, sowing, giving, offering, first fruits, etc.?
If the couple is attending different churches and earn separate income then individual tithing to where they attend would make sense. It's disrespectful and deceitful to draw out of one location, where you're growing, and then turn around and give in to the storehouse of another. This too can cause conflict which is why attending different churches is not a long-term solution.
What does God have to say about all of this?
If you have not asked Him, ask Him. As a believer in Jesus Christ, you have an opportunity to converse with Him. Your devotion time to Him needs to be important to you. Spend time in prayer and even fast in order to have breakthroughs, clarity, and freedom.
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